the ups, and the downs

Written January 29, 2013

I wish I could say that the week started off in a positive, upbeat and happy manner – unfortunately it couldn’t have been more of the opposite. I don’t know if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, listened to a song that has too many memories attached, or there was a full moon and I went loony because of it?  Who knows. All I can say is that the day was not great. It had its good moments, but overall I’m going to chalk it up as shitty.

I went to the hospital as per usual, did my work there – getting very depressed in the process (I was registering children for ARV meds), then went to pay my energy bill – where I had to stand in a line for about an hour, with this sleazy man hitting on me. I don’t know what it is about men in this country, and why they think they are “gods gift to women” or that they have the divine power to speak to women in such a manner, but it is repugnant and demeaning. 

After all that, I wandered into the market. School is back in session so around 8am, noon, and 5pm the streets are PACKED with students, young and old. Needless to say I tend to try and avoid public areas at these times. Just to reduce the amount of staring, pointing and name calling – being the only white girl in town can be a bit exhausting at times. Unfortunately because of the time it took to pay my energy bill, my timing through town was off, and it was definitely a hassle and unfortunately annoying experience.

But then I came back to my neighborhood, and hung out with my neighbor friend and her adorable two-year-old daughter. We sat on the esteria (grass mat) and shelled peanuts, just talking and enjoying one another’s company. This was probably the highlight of my day.  We can talk about anything and everything (within reason) and she is generally interested in life in the United States, and vice versa. She was married with a child by the time she was 19.  I was entering into my junior year of college at that time. . . . my greatest concern was what theme the frat party was going to be that weekend, or if I was going to make the starting roster for the soccer game. She was here, cooking, raising children, and living in a reed house. How did I get so lucky to be born in the states? Do any of you ever ask yourself that?

Anyway. . . I had a lot on my mind yesterday, and felt very far from home, and that I am missing out on so many things. But I watched a funny movie, cooked and ate a good dinner, and went to bed with the hope of today being a better day.

So far, still a little down – but hopefully I’ll be on the upswing soon.

My friend Linda and I say that this experience is just a big swing, back and forth, high points on each side, low point in the middle “SWING”. We text one another that word often.

Love to all - t