what i'm really thinking

Written March 1, 2013

Well well well. . .here we are in March.

I’m officially 9 months in-country as of yesterday, which means I’m a 1/3^rd of the way through my service. It was the last single digit month I’ll have here in Moz. Kind of a mind-boggling concept.

There has been a lot of discussion within my friend circle about the passage of time here, how days can feel like forever, weeks seem like they are never ending, and yet here we are, already 9 months in. For me, the weeks seem to go by quickly, I am always staying busy with work, going out into the town, hanging with the neighbors etc. I may not always have the most productive workweek, especially by western standards, but for me it’s an OK pace of life.

In my time here, I’ve developed this funny little “inner monologue” that plays constantly throughout my day. I don’t know if this is because a different language, culture or what, surrounds me. Either way it happens on a daily basis. I can have a full conversation with someone in Portuguese about something like the weather or how my dog is doing, all the while running this little inner monologue about something totally wild.

For example, Wednesday during my weekly meeting with ACOMUZA – which lasted 5 hours, and was totally done in local language (talk about time to think about things). I started comparing my puppy to babies. As many of you know, I am not the biggest fan of babies, kids I like, I enjoy hanging out, playing, teaching them etc, but when it comes time to go home, we can go our separate ways and be fine. I’ve never had that internal desire to have children, and probably never will. Sorry – a bit off topic. Anyway. . . .

So I was sitting there comparing my new puppy who was sound asleep on my lap, to the baby sitting on my coworkers lap beside me. After my organizations general excitement and bewilderment of my new pup (including questions like, “does she pee/poop?” “where does she sleep?”) Lua snuggled down on my lap for a nice long nap. She was the perfect calm little puppy, waking up only once in the 5 hours to go to the bathroom, I took her out and we walked around for about 20 minutes or so. Much unlike the human baby sitting next to me. That little nugget managed to poop on his mothers lap (literally, she had poop on her clothing) had to be breast fed twice, threw two temper tantrums, and was constantly making noise/acting unruly. Yes I know they are two totally separate concepts, a human baby and a puppy, but my inner monologue was going crazy with questions like – “why are you concerned that my dog is going to poop on me, when your baby poops on you? My dog already is better trained than your child.” Or just the general question about what the heck is so appealing about having a baby??

Ok – my little rant is done. Thank you for bearing with me.

Also during my downtime here I tend to compile lists, lists of all kinds – to-do lists, bucket lists, shopping lists, wish lists etc. you get the picture.  During this insanely long meeting I updated my Love/Could do without list about life here in Moz. here it is.

LOVE:

-       sunrises

-       my house/neighborhood

-       drinking coffee on my porch

-       my neighbors/community friends

-       my organizations

-       the ability to pick my nose in public

-       looking like a total slob, and still being called “beautiful”

-       my site, Quissico

-       hanging out in the market

-       cold coca-cola and conversation with Donna Julia

-       sitting under a mango tree

-       napping on my esteria

-       experimenting with cooking

-       when my projects finally come together

-       how peoples clothing here never matches

-       how my personal style has gone out the window (when did a beater and cuffed jeans become a style? Oh that’s right, never)

-       speaking a second language

-       music and dancing

Could do Without:

-       5 hour meetings done entirely in the local language, Chopi

-       constantly being the center of attention, just because of my skin color

-       constant comments/questions about my relationship status

-       the confusion and wonderment about why I take such good care of my dog

-       children and babies (that goes for being anywhere really)

-       “passing the buck” people not taking responsibility for their actions

-       the hissing noise made at me when I walk through town to get my attention, do I look like a cat??

-       kissy noises

-       “Estou a pedir”

-       how everything here is in a constant state of disorganization

-       why it is ok for a baby to pee on the floor in the middle of a meeting, while people are terribly concerned that my dog may do the same

-       how, no matter how hard I try, my feet are constantly filthy

-       rats and gigantic spiders (still not ok with that part of PC service)

happy march everyone!

-tay