Emotionally abusive relationships and living abroad, two
totally different ideas, yet after living in Mozambique for a year and some
change, I’ve come to realize that they go together like pao and bagias. The
best of days can take a turn for the extreme worse in a matter of seconds. I
suppose that's true in any place, home or abroad- but when you are so far
removed from everything remotely like your culture, any bad occurrence can seem
like the end of the world as you know it.
Let me start with what happened last night. Some of you may
have seen my rather explicit facebook status post. I do apologize for the
amount of “f-bombs” I dropped in those few sentences, but I was very upset.
Some children in my neighborhood thought it would be good fun to tie a 25L water
barrel (empty) onto my dog, and chase her around town, onto the national road,
through the neighborhood wile throwing rocks at her. Somehow she came untied
and was able to run back home, but she was shaking from head to toe, bleeding,
her tail bent at an awkward angle. For the first few hours being back, she
wouldn't even let me near her – refusing to come out from under my bed where
she lay curled in a ball shaking and crying.
My heart broke. . .my baby girl, my buddy was so torn up-
and I couldn't do anything to help her. I was so confused as to what had
happened until my neighbor came by and told me the whole story. First,
disbelief struck me – who does that type of thing to a nice dog? Annnndddd
then, the anger came. I stormed out of my yard, marched over to the house where
I knew the children would be –wanting to talk to their parents. . . of course,
no adult was home, and the kids were running amok. So I publically shamed them
in front of the other neighbors. Never once raising my voice, but speaking
sternly about how much Lua loves them, how she like to play with them, how
she’s never bitten or hurt any of them – and how do they repay her? With
torture? We gathered a small group of neighbors, and they joined in on the
shaming.
(insert the cultural exchange promo here, my neighbors have
learned how to act/treat a dog from me, yay)
The children apologized. . and today, Lua is better. Still
shaken up I can tell, but I tied her up to the house today, and she’s getting a
good rest in the sun right now. Tomorrow she goes to Yuri’s for “summer camp”
while I’m gone on my northern adventure.
Sadly, that story is just the tip of the iceberg with this
love/hate, emotionally abusive relationship I have with Mozambique. Today
started off as any other Thursday does, my REDES meeting went superbly, the
girls participated, we had a great session etc. I walked down to the
organization on the other side of town, Despertai, for our monthly meeting. . .
. wouldn't ya know it, no one bothered to show up. I waited around for about 30
minutes- and then gave up, deciding my time could be better spent at the
hospital.
I wanted to grab some water from home and check in on Lua on
my way back to the other side of town. When I arrived to my home, I saw
something I never thought I would ever see.
My fence was on fire.
Now, I believe I have spoken about how much I love, and
depend on my fence here. Its my separation from the outside world, and my
mini-bubble of comfort, safety, security. It is a huge reason why I feel so
safe and calm here at home. I can walk around my yard in shorts, read a book on
my porch, leave shampoo and things in my bathhouse without fear of getting
stolen. To see it on fire shattered the fragile piece of comfort I have here.
Apparently the woman who washes my clothes/brings me water
thought my trash pit was too full, so she set it on fire which, is a totally
normal thing to do here. . what isn’t normal, is not watching the fire – which
is what I am supposing happened. Because my fence caught on fire, and about
half of the front part of it (the section facing the national highway) was
burned to the ground. To add insult to injury – she and I had to use all of the
water I had in my house to put out the fire. . . and of course there isn’t
running water at the tap in town today. Soooo I spent the next few hours trying
to find someone with a donkey to go to the next town over and bring water to my
house . . . fortunately I found someone, so that problem was resolved.
The next issue- my electric kettle. Again, seemingly
unrelated right? I suppose my friend was using it to dump water on the
fence/control the fire. . .because it lay broken beyond repair in my front
yard. Now, these things aren’t cheap, and a volunteer should only need to buy
one in their entire service. Yet here I am buying my third. The latest two were
bought because of this woman as well. . . so I’m wrestling with the idea of
removing half the cost of what the kettle costs out of what I pay her a month. I
don't pay her all that much, because she only comes to my house once every two
weeks to bring water/wash clothes, so I feel bad. On the other hand, she set my
fence on fire, and has broken two kettles. . . I’ll let you know the decision I came to during the next
blog.
So. . . after sitting in my front yard, trying to process
all of what has happened – Lua, my fence, the water situation etc. I just had
to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. How my life can be so shattered by
some burning pieces of dried palm fronds? What has my life become, that this
fence is so connected to my feeling of safety, security, and seclusion?
Anyway. I was hysterical for about an hour, just totally
shattered, alone and broken. But then I put on my big girl pants, and got to
work fixing it all. I made some phone calls to get water, called my landlord
about finding the material and some workers to fix my fence (I think he heard
the desperation in my voice, and hopped to it) and went to town to buy a new
electric kettle.
I had texted many friends, even sent an email home on my
blackberry begging for a phone call of support. Many came to my aid, and I
realized that even though I am alone here at site, in this house… I am not
alone. Their words of comfort, rationalization of the issues facing me, and
positive affirmations helped me through this time.
The fence will hopefully be fixed this afternoon before
dinnertime. And all will be well in the world again. Going through such
emotional turmoil on a seemingly regular basis is exhausting - so while I love
Mozambique, my house and my friends here . . . I don't think I will extend my
contract. I think that come August of next year, I will embrace my friends,
shed some tears, but my butt will be firmly seated on a plane taking off
towards my next adventure.
That's all for now folks.
xoxo
t
(photos- the fence directly after the fire, and directly after the repairs.)
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