Workin’ hard, or hardly workin’?

Monday was my first day back to work after the holiday break, I was looking forward to it – getting back into the groove of a routine, feeling like I’m actually serving a purpose again here in Quissico, rather than just lounging around all day with local friends and going to the lagoon (not that that was a BAD life). 6am rolls around, I get up, do my workout, have my breakfast and am getting ready to leave my home, planning to arrive at the hospital around 8am – texting my supervisor that I was on my way. “Great, we are already here”, he replied . . .mind you it is 7:40am… what they were doing at the hospital that early is beyond me.

I arrive, I greet everyone, there is about 5 minutes of chatting about how the holidays were, asking about the health and wellbeing of everyone’s family, just the basic catching up. I then sit down next to my supervisor/counterpart who is enraptured with something on his computer, so we don't actually converse for probably 30 minutes or so. . no big deal, I checked some emails, and did some things on my own computer. When he was ready, he turns to me and says “lets talk about what you are going to do here this year with CCS”…. GREAT! Finally some direction, some outline of work, some role for me to play here at the hospital – because goodness knows I have been doing this and that where I can, but I’ve never truly had a defined work goal with the organization.

            -on account that at first it was ICAP at the hospital, which was more frustrating than words can ever describe, then there was no one there, so I stopped going, then CCS came, and I’ve had 3 different counterparts with this organization, so my “role” has constantly been changing.

Nevertheless, I was open to what Joao had to say about what he saw me doing for these last few months in Mozambique. And that's when my day turned to shit. . . .he started listing off these random activities, that I am either not trained for, or that fall outside my capabilities. The one was to organize the Peer Educators every afternoon before they leave and give them a “pep talk” about forming GAAC groups, and that I would be in charge of this program from now on. . . . they have already been trained in this area, they know about groups, how to form them, how to keep them sustainable – if there are questions or issues, they come to Joao and I. I should not be “in charge” of this program, because I am leaving, I am not at the hospital every day, but mainly because it is not my responsibility that this nationwide program runs smoothly here in Quissico – that is what a trained health technician is supposed to do.

The list contained about 4 other tasks that were just ridiculous for many reasons, time, resources, my own personal abilities (I do not speak the local language fluently) etc. . . . so when he asked what I thought about what I could be doing in these next few months I attempted to steer him back to what my original job description was/what I have been doing for the past few months at the hospital.  Which is; filling out busca cards, and helping organize that program (finding people who have abandoned their HIV medication) so that it is more streamlined, continuing to build and maintain the relationship between CCS (my organization at the hospital) and ACOMUZA (my community based organization), going into the field with either organization on home based visits, doing informative health workshops, organizing the testing center in town, organizing the monthly Cha Positivo support group meetings for HIV+ people at the hospital. ETC….  after explaining all of this to him, he nodded, and said “sounds great” and then left.

…….. cool?

I guess what I’m still looking for is a schedule. When to show up at the hospital, when to leave, what exactly I should be doing on a Monday or on a Thursday . . . but I don't think I will ever really have that. I’m on the tail-end of my service here, this is when projects should be in full-swing, in the monitoring and evaluation phase, ready to be sustainable on their own. Instead, I have nothing to show for my service thus far “work wise”. It is really and truly frustrating.

I never had the notion that I would come to Mozambique and change anything in a drastic sense. . but I had hoped to have at least one successful, sustainable project. . . but, sadly, I just don't think that is going to be the case for me.

When I arrived at the hospital yesterday, again at 8am, the entire CCS team was packing their day bags. I asked what was going on and they all replied ‘oh, we are going to Inharrime today to work at that hospital’    . . . . .pause.   “oh, ok. . . bom trabalho e boa viagem”  (good work and safe travels).

-cut to me, sitting in the CCS office alone, doing busca cards, and using the free internet. Sigh . . . I didn't come to Africa to sit in an office. But whatever.

Today is Wednesday, I have the first meeting of the year with ACOMUZA, so I’m hoping for good things. I am keeping my expectations low, but still looking forward to the meeting, if for no other reason than to see some of my favorite people.

me and the lua girl, takin it easy

Xoxoxo

t